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CYNTHIA ARMSTRONG

3 Phases of Living. Which Phase Are You In?

By Cynthia Armstrong

Let’s talk about the three phases of living life.Which place are you living in? Do you want to live? Hi, I'm Cynthia Armstrong. I'm a general special education teacher. I homeschool my own children for five years, and I talk about those things that I've researched, studied and applied both in the academic world and outside of the academic world, to find those things that work best that really helped accelerate me, my children and my students.

Today I wanna talk about phases of life. Phase one, the phase we will find ourselves in with that pain and suffering. Well, we don't know what to do. We're feeling stuck. We are really struggling in a relationship. Consider that for yourself and also for your child. Are they experiencing it? Are you experiencing that pain and suffering in one area of your life and multiple areas? Pervasively, we all have to go into that phase of pain and suffering. Some of us find something that can relieve you even for a short period of time. When you have some relief, you have some comfort. It can help lessen the pain and suffering. We perceive that often as relief and comfort. Everything's really great then.

When I was struggling mentally and emotionally myself and I was going to the psychologist, that's kind of where they helped me to get through the next phase. Phase two, they helped me to lessen the pain. With the pain being less than I felt, things were good but then something would come up and I go back into that deeper and I was so tired of going from phase one to phase two, but I didn't know. There are many other ways or any other things to do, like if you go to the psychologist, if you are trying different programs and none of them change, you would not change the brain, mind, and your understanding enough to make a lasting change. It seemed to increase the suffering. I didn't wanna go through another cycle of just being OK and suffering even deeper.

I was really looking for how to get to that next phase in life, which is to thrive, because I knew if I could get myself there, then I can help my children better. That is sometimes the struggle I actually have and I was looking for something for my son, and I was like, "How can I help my son?" Obviously nothing works for me because I've tried all kinds of programs, I've gone to psychologists and I was in that phase where nothing works for me.

At that time I was not looking for myself, I found a model that I thought would be really good for my son and the person who was teaching that model said the best thing you could do to help your son is to learn this model so you can help him with that and right when I finally got it, that I want it for my son. That's fantastic, but until I get it for myself then I'm not able to help my children. This time, I was focused just on my son and not on some of the other things in my life.

Phase three is thriving. And that's what I really wanted. Just being OK, being in less pain, just having some relief and some comfort. That wasn't enough for me. I wanted more. I wanted more for myself. I wanted more for my son and learning how my brain works allowed me to be able to change it in a permanent way that wasn't just really that wasn't just comfort. It was thriving. When I'm thriving, there's no room for the pain. There's no room for depression or anxiety. Not that I don't sometimes get a little bit in there, but that little bit I have a totally different relationship with because now instead of going, Oh no, here it comes, I'm gonna be stuck there. When am I gonna feel that relief again? Now, It's like, oh cool, what? What is it that I'm learning from this and I can move out of it so much quicker? Remember that children are great by their very natures, and that means so. And we have that privilege and that responsibility to teach them.