Mistakes are fine for other people. But for me, I can't do that. I really have it as a sense of pride. I'm better than others. I'm not allowed to make mistakes. And then the side effect, since I'm now not allowed to make mistakes, I'm very limited in my growth. I can't grow because when we make mistakes, that's where growth comes from, and I know there can be a lot of religious feelings behind the word pride and its opposite, humility. I am a very religious person. There were sentences in there that also came from programming around my thoughts about religion and God and all those things.
When we talk about some of the things our children struggle with. And I know I'm talking as an adult now, but these were struggles that I had. Even at a young age, I'm talking about children, my childhood and things that might be happening with our children. Religion and those kinds of beliefs, whether it's in our home or in our community, plays a really big role in patterns that we pick up on that can be helpful or unhelpful.
it's not that there's something wrong with religion because, like I said, I am a very religious person, but there's understanding how religion can influence some of the patterns that I picked up and my interpretation of things could cause struggles in my life. It Isn't about religion, but how I chose to interpret things as a child before I could even think about thinking. When we look at being down on ourselves as you did it wrong again, I can't believe that I chose that. What was I thinking? I'm so stupid. I will end it.
Then we'll go into really negative self talk. When we get down to its essence, really is pride that we are supposed to be better than others, that others could make mistakes. But I have to be the best and I can't make mistakes. We get into that where in many scriptures that says pride goes with before but we also need to be humble. When we're humble, we're teachable.
If I'm stuck in the place where I have that pride, that I can't make the mistakes, that I'm also in that place where I'm not humble, I'm not able to learn. I can't look at my mistakes and allow myself that opportunity to grow, to learn from it, and to know that that's part of a mortal existence. Being able to make these mistakes, to learn from it and to progress in life, and having that switch in understanding that being down on myself isn't humble, because pride isn't just.
It's even when we're down on ourselves, that's the attitude we get down on ourselves with that I'm not supposed to make mistakes because if we're not supposed to make mistakes, where does that feeling come from? When we look at that with our children, that's where really, truly creating that growth mindset can really benefit us if we just understand that, we make mistakes and we learn from them. We all make mistakes and if somebody has caused me harm or hurt or made a mistake around me, that's OK, they're allowed to make mistakes.
How we choose to respond to their mistakes doesn't mean I have to be walked on. It just means, I will let you own that. I don't have to take that ownership on myself. When we allow that in our own minds and in our own hearts for ourselves, then we're taking that ownership or taking that responsibility and we accept the fact that I made a mistake.
It doesn't mean that I'm responsible for their hurt, because it's how they interpret it. There's something that I want to do that I could do, and sometimes there's a line of how another person interpreted it and how I said what I feel is appropriate and true to who I am and then I can give it back to them like thank you for that information.
I look at that information and then I can choose to apply it to help, or I can let it go and give it back to them in a kind way, just let go of it in my own heart. Being prideful doesn’t help our growth. If you present that kind of behavior in front of your kids, it might register in their mind that it’s okay to be like that. It’s stopping them from growing, It would be best if we allow humility in ourselves to be able to learn and grow. In that way, we don’t have pride.
Remember children are great by their very nature and we have that privilege and responsibility to raise them.
