Even if we have been disconnected for a while, as we pause, we put that energy and focus into being with our children, listening to them and not talking to them, but truly hearing the things that are exciting to them or interesting. We take the time to listen to them play-by-play. Then whatever it is, the video game, the show they watched, an event at school, they really can feel that we care and that there is no judgment in anything they tell us, but we are there to listen. And to support them.
I know life is busy, and we have schedules that need to be kept, especially if you are working at home, then that can create some tension, like which way do I go, and if our child feels heard, it's okay. They want to come and tell us something that is okay for us to say, "I really would love to hear about that show that you watched; please give me 15 minutes, and I will come to find you and listen."
It can be 15 minutes, it can be an hour, it can be at dinner, whatever works in your schedule, but the important thing is that you let them know, and you do not just say that you are busy, but you really expressed interest in hearing about it and then following up. Do not forget to ask them about that at dinner. Do not forget to find them in the 15 minutes that you have said that you would do because it is not feasible for us to be able to drop everything every second of any second, right there is often kind of that timeline, and it's okay to put it on that.
They can feel that other energy, that we are not fully there in prison. But if we have that kind of love and that joy, I can spend this time with my child. I get to hear about things that are interesting to my child. If we put that kind of energy, which is the energy we have in our mind and heart, then there will be a connection. You will be amazed at how that energy allows us to connect with their child and for our child to communicate with us, and if we have not associated with our child in this way for a bit or ever, that is okay. It might take a time or two, but. You will feel that energy in your body, and they will eventually feel it too.
And even if they do not believe it at first, keep at it; That energy will be contagious, and they will not be able to help but connect with you. And so, we know whether we are in that state, if we are feeling joy, if we are feeling love, we do not feel that pressure of time or things like that, if we have that just infinite patience, and again, that does not mean anytime or even any length of time.
Take the time you are already spending time with them and make a connection. We can take that time and feel that energy and love. Tell yourself and feel it when our mind and heart both feel the same. That is when our children will feel our love and power for them, and that is where that connection will happen. That is one big hack for creating a connected relationship with your child. And remember, all children are great by their very nature, and our privilege and responsibility is to raise them.