We don't start off all-knowing, yet sometimes with our children, we want to think that we know better, that we've experienced life. We think we know what our child needs. Some things that we know are not safe, such as getting into drugs or becoming alcoholic. We know that's not good. There's a balance that I'm talking about here. But when it comes to choosing careers, what school to go to, or directions in life like that, some of those things become important to us as parents. We want our children to be successful, and we “know” they'll be more successful if they follow whatever’s in our minds, we'll get them there, but that's not always the case. Or they might have a one-of-a-kind talent that we suppress because it doesn't get our child to where we think they need to be, or in the path that our child needs to get there.
God already knew we would have these weaknesses. When we think about being humble and being teachable, He knew that. So, when I'm talking about the programs that our minds develop as children, this is not a surprise. This is something He knew, and He put into place to help us, but only if we use those weaknesses to help us to be humble. Sometimes I've used weaknesses before as excuses. They're excuses not to do something, not to improve or to become better. That's one way that I've used weaknesses in the past. I sometimes continue to do that as I find them and laugh about how I did that one again.
As we look around, we also see weaknesses in others. We see the weaknesses in our children. Those are very prominent because that brings us fear when we see our children's weaknesses. But how amazing if we can learn to be humble in our weaknesses. That helps our children to be humble in their weaknesses. It allows them to become teachable. As parents, sometimes we see those weaknesses in our children and we might (not on purpose, but as a reaction or an undercurrent) help our children to have that opportunity to feel that we're disappointed in them or that we're judging them for their weaknesses. When we do that, then they're not teachable when we are heightened.
We have that fear that we're not loved. We're not good enough. We're not capable. Then we're not teachable because we're not capable, so why should we bother learning that? But when we're humble, then we know that we're teachable. We know that we have all these possibilities if we allow God. In all the religions out there, I believe they have this similar thing that talk about, that you can't learn if your cup is full. Even little sayings like that are out there.
When we're parents, we've got to look at ourselves, but then we also look at what that means for our children and how that is between us and our children. How does that play out? It helps to be aware of our own internal weaknesses. Don't use them as excuses to get depressed, to feel down on ourselves, or to avoid doing something. Use them as that humility that allows more knowledge and understanding into our lives. Then look at our children and celebrate that their weaknesses mean that they are teachable. That's if we give them that example and that reason to be teachable, because when we are fearful, we're not teachable either. We can get information in, but we struggle to access it or to apply it, and because of that fear, we're not good enough. We're not capable. And our children will get that too.
It's our job to help our children. We allow them to have their weaknesses without judgment, but that doesn't mean without instruction, but to provide that instruction in a way that is non-judgmental. That's just talking in a matter-of-fact way, asking is that really what they want, is that what they want to feel, is that the direction they want to go? If not, how can we look at it differently? Allow that humility to be a strength that allows our weaknesses to be transformed.
All children are great just by their very natures of who they are, and it's our responsibility and our privilege to teach them.
