As parents, we always want things to be better for our children, and sometimes we are busy helping our children and forget to step back and build skills. Let's consider whether you're resilient and can go with the change in flow in the pluses and the minuses that happen in life or whether you know that's a struggle for you. Go to build resilience. Whether it's building hours to help our children, whether we have it, or struggling with how to share that with them, the foundation for resilience is unconditional love. If we have that unconditional love in our lives, if we share that with our children, our unconditional love for them, or whether we're building it in ourselves, and we learn to unconditionally love ourselves so that we can experience that in our lives. That is the foundation.

So when we have that foundation of unconditional love, we are empowered, feel capable, and have a sense of responsibility. So let's take a look at those three so when we feel empowered with that unconditional love, when things come out to us that are novel we were expecting, or those challenges that come towards us when we're entrusted with that unconditional love, we don't take on ourselves like we’re a terrible person. Things always happen to me, and we get those negative things. We don't feel that when we are empowered with the foundation of unconditional love because we know you, it doesn't matter. That's the growth experience now because it's not about a deficiency in me. It's about learning and growing and overcoming with this support of unconditional love. And so that's kind of the empowerment we have that we're capable if we have unconditional love, if we give that to our children, then our children feel capable if they don't have our unconditional love. 

They don't feel qualified if we've put conditions on our love. So what this might look like is. If you know they decide on not doing homework or something of that nature, then we might come in with no, you have to do your homework, or we might start kind of nitpicking at them and harassing them more. They take that and say, well, Mom only loves me if my homework is done or is not done. I'm not lovable; in my courses and things like that, I talked about how unconditional love does not mean we don't teach responsibility. But there's a way that teaches responsibility that they internalize, and there's a way to teach responsibility. Those are two different kinds of things for how long or dad feels or the adult in their life. When we give them that internal responsibility, they will feel capable. 

If the person in my life that has that unconditional love knows I'm capable and that even though I messed up, I'm still capable, it's not a deficiency. It's just something I'm learning; then they go, oh, I'm capable. I can learn something here since it didn't go how I wanted it to. I'm capable and can figure out what I can do differently when I can change and create the situation I want. So those are the first two. So that empowerment and that capability and then that third one is the responsibility if there's something that happens in our lives that we don't want, it's not, oh, because the other person was angry or because the car broke down or because of any situation or person outside of ourselves that when we take responsibility for the things that happen to us, then it means we can be resilient because we have the power within us. So we have that resiliency. 

Unconditional love and how that unconditional love empowers, enables, and creates that internal sense of responsibility, And helps with resiliency for our children. And so remember, children are great by their very nature, and we have that privilege and that responsibility to raise them.