We really push them because we know what's best, but the damage to their hopes, their dreams, to what they feel or their learning experiences. I really would like you to consider and talk to your children. Find out what kind of things they would think that's just fun to do or what they are trying to become. What are some of those things for them? Sometimes what has happened, especially from a younger age, if we've pushed them towards certain things, it's not always intentional in a cruel way, but it is intentional in helping our children in a way that isn't always helpful.
Sometimes if I'm told what to do or how to be for a certain length of time, or in younger ages or even older ages, they stop knowing what they want. It's not worth thinking about it because it's not going to happen. They're always wrong or somebody else is going to tell them what to do so they'll stop dreaming, they'll stop looking for things outside of themselves, and they're in that waiting phase or that routine phase that keeps going along.
Sometimes they'll think everybody has dreams, but sometimes our children have varied dreams and sometimes it's not us. It might be something the teacher said or a friend said without again meaning any harm or maybe even joking. But they take it and they put it in such a way that they kind of suppress their own thoughts, desires and own dreams.
And just stick with what's routine or what other people tell them. Is this something you know about your child? What are their traits? Are you trying to communicate with them? Try and ask them while you're driving in the car or while you're eating. Are you having those regular conversations where it's OK for them to talk about their dreams, however outlandish they may be, and think about all the possibilities in life and what could happen? Because we still want to instill in our kids the thought that we care about what they think, what they want, and what they dream of, and that we work with them to make their dreams come true. I know this can be really difficult because we have to let all of our expectations for children, a lot of what we want for them and what we think is better for them.
They have an opportunity to learn and to be resilient. That's not something we can always just tell them to do. Sometimes it takes those opportunities and even if they fall on their face, we don't tell them, but instead we help dust them off and encourage them to try. What is it that you wanna try next? Was that what you thought it would be? Is there something else you would rather?
I know that it can be really scary for us as parents to allow that for our children, but there are many beneficial needs that children learn that will help them to be successful. I can help them to find what really motivates them and what really drives them. We can support and encourage them with their dreams.
But we can ask them, have you considered this? And when you talk with your children. We can ask them what are the most amazing things that can happen and what's the worst that can happen? And when we talk about how both are good and try not to dwell on the worst that can happen, but just about both and say you know what amazing is? We learn either way, whether we end up where we wanted to or whether we crash and fall on our face, we're learning and so amazing things to share with our children.
And so really get to know your children and their hopes, their dreams and that open space for some of the things that you might not have considered for them. Remember, children are great by their very natures, and we have that privilege and responsibility to raise them.
