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CYNTHIA ARMSTRONG

Helping Our Children Achieve

By Cynthia Armstrong

Helping our children achieve requires us to help them have a word mindset and that will include setting goals and I know goals can have an achievement that requires us to say, here's where I'm at and this is where I want to go. And one of the most beneficial ways to do that is by setting a goal. If goal is a word that just brings up emotions that stop you, consider it a different word.

What is it that I want to achieve? What are my dreams? You can change the vocabulary if you have built kind of a negative relationship with any particular word, and for some people, it could even be dreams because there's a lot of people out there that will tell you to just dream, dream big and it'll just happen and that's not true. So wherever you might have a negative relationship with the word that puts up a block, just think what's another word you could use that you have a more healthy relationship without the word.

Goals are important. Change the word in your head if that's not a word you like. Without goals, we're not really moving forward. And for children, they're often told this is what you're going to do, this is how you do it. And teachers can be bossy. Parents can be bossy. Grandparents expect things to be a certain way. There are a lot around where children are not setting their own goals, they're taking on things from other people. But what happens with that is they become automatons. If no one tells them what to do, they just stop. Or the other reaction that children might have is what I say is going off the deep end, they go the opposite direction. These are the kids who are tired of being bossed around, so they become partiers. They wanna rebel a little bit.

When we don't teach children about goal setting or achievement setting, we create this opportunity for them not to reach their full potential and so when we set goals with children we want to include them in that and we want to give them as much as reasonable at their age to create that goal.

I do the beginnings of goal setting with children as young as 18 months to two years old, depending on the child themselves, because every child develops at a different rate. But as soon as they have enough understanding of our language to set goals, then we can have them doing that beginning part.

And yes, when they don't have the words and they only understand the words, then I might be saying the words for them and looking for agreement or disagreement or giving choices and seeing which one they prefer that ability to think for themselves, to plan for themselves, because a goal is a plan and even children super young, you think, oh, they're just toddlers. Yeah, they're just toddlers. But I mean, toddlers begin with the word no often, right?

They have that ability to begin to set goals and with young children. It might be we're not talking about goals for ten years down the road. We're talking maybe goals for the next 10 minutes because their minds don't see down the road. But let's set a goal for right now with the young children.

What is it that we want to do in these next 10 minutes? It can be based around play because children are all about the play. So what is it that we want to accomplish with these toys? Are we going to build a castle? Are we going to build a road or a garage? That is how we begin to set goals with children, right? So what is it that we want to accomplish? What is our goal? And then we can ask, well, what is it we need to get there? Are we going to use the Legos or the wood blocks? How many do we need? Are we going to use this? The rectangle ones and the round ones, and we begin to teach them what a goal looks like? What does getting to a goal look like?

And so even with younger children, we begin this goal setting mindset. You make a plan of what you want to achieve. And then I start thinking about, well, what could I use to get me there. Yes, here's the tricky part. We don't want them to feel they have to know how to accomplish something. If we have to know how to accomplish it then again, we'll shut down because we or we'll set small goals, because if I don't know how to get there, then I can't set that goal.

But when we're asking these young children, are we going to use this or this? We want to add little words and like, well, let's see how that works. Or I wonder if we might end up needing something more. Let's try it. It all opens us up to looking for ways we're going to meet that goal. And I know I'm talking about young children, but that's just because sometimes it's easier to see it in when we work with the young children. But take these ideas, take these concepts. You can use it for any age, including ourselves. It is simply goal setting what am I going to achieve? What is it I want to achieve? What are my dreams that I'm shooting for? And then we build up that feeling that and anticipation and allow us to just be looking, just not be searching really hard and I've gotta dig in. But just to have an open awareness of oh that'll that could help me Oh yeah I'm. The use of round blocks or you know what, the square blocks weren't quite enough. Maybe I need the square blocks and the round block. And it leaves us open for trying, for attempting, for learning, and just for. Gonna no pressure ways to just continue towards our achievement and our goals and. I know this blow some people's minds. I know that this is a new way of looking at it for many of us and we're going well. How do I know I have achieved my goal or how do I know? Well, try it, try it this way and let go of some of that. Well, I have to know and see. What really is possible? Well, children are great by their very natures, and we have that privilege and that responsibility for raising them.