Change Your Life and Travel The World While Getting Cash Deposited Into Your Bank Account Every Single Day

You Will Get Immediate Download Access to Free Report and Become a Free Priority Access Member to Our 100k a Month Coaching Program

CYNTHIA ARMSTRONG

Hidden Consequences To Liking Our Children To Need Us

By Cynthia Armstrong

It can feel good to be needed by our children. How do we find that balance between feeling good and also allowing our children their independence?

I want to share with you today about the things that we do to feel good about our children when they need us. It can really create emotions in us that we like, and when we like them subconsciously our brain demands the need of what you really want to get more of that and the way I get with that is doing the same thing that I'm doing. We, as parents, need to self reflect.

One of these things that children need is simply asking us to help them answer a question or an answer to a problem. They come to us with a need and as a parent, you feel good about the fact that your child is coming to you and helping them solve their problems.

I get to seem like the person of wisdom who knows the answers, and that builds good to me. I think all of us as parents have that kind of feeling, but the question is, does it stop there or do we seek out more of it, whether we are conscious of it or not?

That's the tricky part, is when it's subconscious, are we really looking for ways for our children to need us more because that feels good? Or are we giving them the skills and the understanding and the self-awareness they need to be able to fulfill their needs on their own? And yes, we consciously know that's what we want for our children, but what patterns might we have that help us to support our children in needing us? It can be very subtle. A lot of children might have anxiety, depression, and OCD. Many of those have mental health problems or other things that they have.

This is a pattern we could be playing into because it could be a way for them to maybe control us, but that's OK. We want to be controlled because it makes us feel good, we feel needed, and so we could support them in certain behaviors or thoughts and beliefs that don't really serve them because it helps us to feel better and we, again can perhaps not even realize this consciously because the doctor says they have depression and this is how they can help them with depression or these labels with the reason to come in and save our children and to be there for our them. We really wanted them to need us and so we are supporting them in their needs.

Even though at the time I was consciously saying that this is so annoying. What's wrong with my child, or why are they feeling impatient? Even though we might have some of these conscious thoughts or these annoyances, we can still be holding on to that pattern. So remember, children are great by their very natures, and we have that privilege and that responsibility to raise them.