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CYNTHIA ARMSTRONG

Our Thoughts, Health, and Children

By Cynthia Armstrong

I can't believe I just said that; I'm such an idiot. What are people going to think? Wait for a second; he just did that. Can you believe he just did that? Or if we just look at our child on what we do, what we say, what we feel, affects us, and it affects our children.

Hi, I'm Cynthia Armstrong. I'm a general and special education teacher, I homeschooled my own children for five years and I talk about those things that I've learned, I've studied, I've applied and found what works for me and for my children and my students and I want to share them with you. Now, I just said some lovely comments and here's the thing, whether we say things that can be harmful to ourselves personally inside. Whether we say them out loud to somebody else directly. Whether we say them to somebody else so we can complain together about someone affects us physically.

What we do, what we say, what we think has an impact on her health. So think about the people you know, or it may be you that has had such an impact on their health and I am someone who had psoriasis covering 85% of my body at one point. My skin was so inflamed that it was my temperature. What? My core temperature was higher just from the inflammation on my skin and a lot of what happens is mental, right? It's in our head. Not that we create that situation because we want in our head, but because we're unaware of the effects of our thoughts on our thinking. And so when we have those, it creates friction. It can actually cause inflammation in our brain when we're fighting against ourselves or we're running those circular thoughts in our head. Whether they're about ourselves or somebody else or a situation that creates inflammation in our brain, because every action has an opposite and equal reaction.

If we are having these fighting thoughts, whether they're with ourselves or with somebody it comes back at us with equal force and for everybody that's a little different for me. I had an immune system difficulty and that showed up in the form of psoriasis and the arthritis that sometimes accompanies that if we look at our children we see a lot that goes on, some of those mental conditions like anxiety or depression. I know so many children who have trouble with digestion, multiple struggles with digestion that can have many different ways.

Whether it's difficulty fully processing the food in our bellies, whether it shows up in food sensitivities, eczema in many other ways now there are food sensitivities out there and each of these things can be linked to causes, right? But one of the things that makes a huge difference is that mental thinking? So that's up to us to really look at our thoughts, to really consider them towards ourselves, towards other people, towards situations, towards our children and be honest with ourselves, because sometimes we think and then we say to not think about that but really we do.

But we're trying to cover it up or put a Band-Aid on it or throw a blanket over it so nobody else can see it. But when we're honest with our thoughts, that's when we really begin to be able to see the truth of what's going on, of what beliefs that we have that are really affecting us in a less helpful way. For me, I had a lot of negative self-talk and it went into negative talk in my head about other people and about the situation I was in and when I was able to you know, we do nutrition as well, yes but it didn't fully clear up.

I couldn't get that complete relief until I was able to learn how to not just manage my thoughts. Like, OK, negative thoughts, I'm going to just add a positive one in there because negative and positive are judgments so we're still having that conflict when there's those kinds of judgments involved, but when we can allow our thoughts to be open, to be accepting of things that we may not be as good at as other people, right? We might have skills in a different direction, but we want the other person's skills because that's you know always greener on the other side. It creates inflammation. So it's not a switching, a negative thought for a positive thought, it's allowing all of our thoughts and letting go of the judgments of them. It is allowing ourselves to decide which ones we want to keep because all of our thoughts are OK. All of our emotions are great but we get to look at them and decide which ones we want to keep.

Now, that was the problem for me. I had so many people. We'll just change your thoughts. Just let it go. Just do this. Just do that. But I, you know, I couldn't figure out how. How does that really work? How can you just tell me? Just let it go. I have all this emotion, I have all of these thoughts around it, and I didn't know how to let it go but that is what I teach now. I have a model that I learned, its official name is nice and big.

The Neuro auto-associative programming model allows us to look at what's going on in our brains, thoughts, and minds; it's a step-by-step way to let the judgment go. It's a step by step way that allows us to choose what emotions we want to keep, to be able to experience those emotions, even ones enabled, labeled negative, named, or labeled. It's enabled, negative. They're not negative. We may not choose to hang out there as often as some other ones, but having them serves a very important, purposeful, meaningful part in our lives. And to get rid of those all together would diminish who we are and diminish what we could learn. It's so important that you can find a way, find a way that works for you again. I have a model that I can share or you can look.

There's lots of good information out there. What I teach goes directly to that foundational level, it takes you to the root of the problem rather than the symptom of the problem, and negative thoughts are a symptom. So replacing a negative with a positive, in this case, doesn't entirely cut it, it can give you relief, and it can give you an opportunity for your brain to readjust and to choose something different. But for those of us out there right who don't find that easy or just switching to the positive right and all by ourselves, you’re just lying to yourself. It's just not truthful and we don't believe it, so it doesn't always work. And for those, there's a percentage of people that does work not because of that itself, but because of how it allows their brain to reset or to re-route where, for some of us, that little bit isn't enough to reroute our thoughts.

What does that mean for you if you can figure that out? How much more present and available might you be for your children? How much more of an example as our children watch us when we don't even know it, and they feel that energy? How does that program them? Which program would we rather have for our children? Is the judgment one positive, negative or accepting, that unconditional? I mean, I know which one I would want for my children and which one I want for me and for everyone, if I'm being honest. So remember, children are great by their very nature, and we have that privilege and that responsibility to raise them.