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CYNTHIA ARMSTRONG

We Can’t Teach What We Don’t Know Is A Lie

By Cynthia Armstrong

It's been said that we can't teach what we don't know. But that is a lie. Hoping that it can help you wherever you're at in your journey. I've been told and I've said this many times myself that you can't teach what you don't know. But that is true to a point; if we don't know it, we certainly can't teach it. But the thing is, if we know it, but we haven't experienced it, or applied it, or learned it, we really can't teach it either. If we think about it, even teaching the alphabet or counting, it has to do with the things we've experienced. We teach our children as we're reading them books, or as we're writing notes or letters or grocery lists.

The things that we apply and we teach them just as we do it in a very natural way, and it's not because we know it, it’s because we apply and experience it and we've learned that way. All the children that ever had come to kindergarten and who were already reading, it's just something they picked up. The ones that can do it and make meaning out of the things they've read are those who had experienced what they had that they did with their parents or with their grandparents and they picked it up.

There are those that you can train to say words and can read things but really struggle to understand and make meaning out of it. So, when I say reading, it includes understanding and being able to learn from what is read. It’s a vital thing if we want our children to be kind because it's a beneficial thing to do that lights up our lives in the world.

Being kind to others and expecting them to do the same thing is not true kindness. If we want our children to have love and experience unconditional love, then that's something we can only give when we have learned and when we've experienced it ourselves.

It doesn't matter if you've never really felt that before. If you consider what it is that you would have wanted, that would be unconditional love. What would that look like if I had unconditional love for my child, or for my spouse, or for the stranger on the road and we think about it, then we begin to have feelings. The desire that we could continue to work with and build on to apply, until we have learned what that feels like.

To have that unconditional love, it is so vital. We can only have as much unconditional love for others as we do for ourselves. So if we want someone to give us that unconditional love, start with giving it to yourself because that is what's going to boost you to be able to have it for others.

There are things that we've perceived in our minds from how our brain chose to interpret experiences that we've had and as we go through and we apply different understanding, different stories, different things from things that we've experienced, even some of what people consider very traumatic and maybe even constant and build up from one experience to another.

We can begin to make those changes, and guess what? It's not instant. We apply for a change, and we can maybe say that didn't work for me. Few people who are famous sports players, they didn't just come out of the womb being those sports heroes, they had to keep practicing, they had to mess up before they can change their experiences that we can fill unconditional love for ourselves so that we can then express it to others and share that with others. If we have that belief, then we're going to keep trying.

We're going to apply, learn, grow and come to understand what it feels like in this situation. It's not the knowledge that we need, it's the application of that knowledge, the experience of that knowledge that we need before we can teach. Children are great by their very nature, and we have that privilege and responsibility to raise them.